Tag Archive: Death


The Man in the Mirror

Filed under: 365 pictures, Death, Life, money by Mary Diamond — Leave a comment
06/26/2009

1958 - 2009It truly is the end of an era. It’s strange how one person can affect so many -and in such a broad spectrum of ways. He made good music, no matter what else you have to say you cannot deny this. People all over the world have celebrated and loved this man for his contributions to the industry and the lives of those who listened. I truly think he made a huge difference in the fight for racial equality just by being so damn appealing to people of every race and creed.

So many people sang last night for the Kryto Karaoke contest… so many people sang songs outside the theme that seemed to be in memorial. Several expressed anger at the things Michael did during his life, but pretty much everyone had emotional reactions.

Overall, I’d have to say the world is a different place today without him in it. He may not have been participating so much these last few years, but just the knowledge that there will never be another performance is kind of heavy. His last tour was entitled “This is it” and Michael referred to it as the “last curtain call” during a press conference. Kind of makes you wonder if he didn’t see it coming?

In Life...His life was a rare mix of wonderful fantasy and frightening reality. I truly believe that his troubled childhood contributed to a complete halt of emotional development. Whatever may or may not have happened between himself and the children he brought into his secret places -it was inappropriate. The parents of those kids should never have left them in the hands of a person who could never truly be known or trusted completely. At the same time, I don’t believe he meant to harm them or to take their innocence from them. If anything, he was searching for what had been taken from him as a child. Why doesn’t anyone acknowledge that? It’s not an excuse, but it’s a fact that should not ever be overlooked.

The passing of any human life is momentous, whether the person was good or evil… but this is a life that has touched billions.

“One owes respect to the living, to the dead one owes only truth.” -Voltaire

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After Life

Filed under: Uncategorized by Mary Diamond — Leave a comment
04/17/2008

You know everybody has a take on the whole “hereafter” thing…

…but I really think we go back where we came from. The way I look at it, our souls have a source. Perhaps it’s a big collective soul (not the band) that everybody’s a part of. We leave it to come here and experience life in the material world, and to interact with each other from outside the “hive”. That would explain things like empathy and some people’s recollection of another life.

When we’re here, everything counts. All the people around us who’s lives we touch are permanently changed. Think about the effect that a loved one’s life and death have had on you. That alone means that anything and everything they did affected the world. One person at a time.

Then, when we pass… we go home. We meld back in to the universal consciousness and become one with that divine force that some people like to imagine as an old white haired guy who sits on a cloud and points his finger at us. Some people imagine it’s a god and a goddess. Some people think it’s a giant cash register in the sky.

Who knows whether it has a form? All I can say is, it feels nice to brush up against it once in a while when you’re holding a child or feeling the wind on your skin. My dad’s up there too. We’ll go someday and join them. Our kids will suffer the loss for a while… but I hope to equip my sons with a true understanding of the wholeness of the universe. Then they’ll know I’m always with them. Like dad is with me.

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Charles L. Martin

Filed under: Death by Mary Diamond — 3 Comments
01/06/2008

One year ago today, my father passed away in his sleep.

I wrote the obituary, with my sisters and mother looking on, and everyone mentioned whatever edits they wanted. Somehow, this day has left me unsure how to feel. Throughout that last year I have felt at peace with his passing, content in the knowledge that he’s not suffering and his spirit was a kind and generous one. I know that his positivity will carry him into whatever realm comes next in comfort and enlightenment.

At the same time, I’ve always felt that the saddest thing about death and dying is the loss that we who are left behind must face. I loved my father so much… And the knowledge that he loved and cared for me, for so long after many parents wouldn’t have, is both comforting and hurtful. Because he’s gone from my life, I’m left with a space that will never go away.

Sometimes I’ll think of him while I’m doing something mundane and begin to cry a little. Walking through the aisles at Wal-mart and thinking of all the years I did our Christmas shopping, with his list in hand, got me choked up this year. Sitting down to breakfast at one of the many greasy spoon restaurants he loved so much always hurts a little. But remembering him and feeling the loss and the sadness is healthy.

In a way, I guess I’m paying my respects to his memory by never forgetting the things we shared and the moments we had together. I miss him a lot, and I hope that in the afterlife he’s able to see and do all the things he had originally planned for his retirement.

I like to picture him in a giant RV, complete with fireplace and hot-tub, motoring across the summerlands and staying at all the campgrounds for free -because it’s the summerlands, for crying out loud!

Rest In Peace, dad. Or if you’re traveling… don’t forget to bring back souvenirs.

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Life Goes On

Filed under: Death, Life by Mary Diamond — 2 Comments
12/29/2007

As I was watching the talking heads recite their monologues on Benazir Bhutto’s assasination, I got a little teary-eyed. It seems like a cut-and-dry example of the underdog getting run over by a car. An unmarked black SUV of some type, most likely. I do like to run with the metaphors, don’t I?

It makes me really sad that people can just be wiped out like that. In any situation it’s a tragedy for someone to be killed, but this one is especially poignant considering the state of the world and the current threats to socio-economic equality all over the world.

Well, tragedies are catalysts for change, right? Let’s hope it’s a positive one, or at least that the truth comes out soon. Moments after my little “moment” watching the news, my 5 year old son comes running into the room trying to make the baby laugh. He’s got his Scooby Doo briefs on his head and he’s shaking his but back and forth in a typical kindergarten version of dirty dancing.

When I finished laughing, I pulled the offending underwear off his head and handed them back to him. He then tells me, “Now I don’t have any underwear on”.

Kids.

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Surreality

Filed under: 1 by Mary Diamond — 3 Comments
04/29/2004

This past month has just been rife with oddities.

I’m having trouble grasping what’s real and what isn’t. Aside from that, the semester’s drawing to a close, and that always feels unreal to me.

bettymonroe called last night and told me that Wes had hung himself in jail on Monday. He (as she mentions in her entry on the same subject) was a big part of my social development when I was in high school. He was the guy who’s house it was always cool to crash at. He dated Trina (which takes the patience of a saint – or a complete lack of mental stability). He was always a bit “off”, and confessed to me about eight years ago that he wanted to kill himself. I think he struggled with suicide more than a few times.

He was one of the many people I’m surrounded with who aren’t happy here, and cannot see a way to ever be happy. I deliver pizzas in the evenings, and as I’m traveling back and forth between the southeast industrial sector of town, and the southernmost neighborhoods filled with upper-middle-class families, I wonder. I wonder how it is that financial and emotional stability -happiness, essentially- seem so far from my grasp, while all these people are living just that dream. They probably don’t even realize that the simple foundations of their lives, the things that they don’t ever feel especially greatful for -are things that some people long for all their lives. I wonder what he was thinking about, alone in that jail cell. He’s been trying to make ends meet by illegal means the entire time I’ve known him. I’ve run into him here and there over the years, and he’s always running the same games.

I tried to convince him not to hurt himself all those years ago, when I dropped him off at home crying. No one was there this time to argue.

I’m almost afraid of the effect this funeral will have on me. I’ve buried grandparents, friend’s parents, distant family members… I’ve never really been to the funeral of a person I really interacted with personally. Someone who took part in the formation of who I am today. I got a lot of worldly experience in Wesley’s circles, and now I have to pay my respects and witness the close of a painful life. The whole situation is made more tender by the knowledge that he died in such a way. Such a sad, profound, and cliche way. I’m not really sure how I’ll react, but I know I’m going to want so badly to comfort the living -and most likely will not be able or know how.

http://cf.rrstar.com/obituaries/fullobit.cfm?obitid=29006 (The Obituary)

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Sebastian has a poopy

Filed under: 1 by Mary Diamond — 2 Comments
01/07/2004

He’s mad at me, and wants to go buh-bye. As I am typing, he’s dragged the diaper bag across the floor and is tugging on me and chanting “buy-bye” in that whiney voice that not-quite-two-year-olds use when testing you.

Now he’s poking the screen with his finger, which I’m trying to teach him not to do.

He smells like crap (literally really poopy) but it’s only a fart. He’s been doing that a lot lately. It’s funny, only when you’re a parent do you really appreciate a nasty smelling fart -it’s a relief to find out it’s not actual poop for you to clean up.

My back’s been killing me lately, but I still have some pain pills left over from something-or-other.

Class last night was on the Tarot. It was largely review for me, but I feel really lame because I’ve forgotten more stuff than we had time to talk about. My two classmates were both relatively somber, as they had attended the funeral of a close friend earlier in the day. That really sucks.

The worst part of death, for me, is watching the living suffer so much. I really respect the people (like my friends from last night) who take the mourning period and use it as a time to remember the deceased and smile at his or her quirks. I hope that when I die, I am remembered fondly by my friends and they are able to laugh despite the loss.

So the Tarot lesson was helpful, and really made me want to do readings, but everyone was tired so I didn’t push it. I did a read on myself that was promising, and actually put me in a better mood. I’d like to pick up where I left off with my Tarot classes with Jan. I need to call her… I told her I’d come out to see her last weekend. God, I need more days in the week.

I also need the warm weather to hurry up and get here. This winter I’ve been a horrible hermit.

I’m having dinner at Adam’s on Saturday night, and I’m excited! He’s got a culinary degree and he’s never made me so much as a quiche!

It’s my first dinner party! I’m so excited…

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