Posted by Mary Diamond on 02/25/2004
So I’ve corresponded with the friends I am currently somewhat estranged from. I wrote this big long response to the big long email I got, and apparently it got lost. I responded the same day I got the letter, and all this time I’ve been wondering why I didn’t get a response. Doncha hate it when you write a really good letter and for some reason you have to try and reproduce it?
Anyway, it’s been a while since I got busy on the sincere tip here in the ol’ journal. ‘Course, even when they read it my friends have a bad habit of not clicking on the “Give 2 cents” link down at the bottom. (you know you don’t have to be a member of LJ to respond, you can do it anonymously and just include your name or screen-name in the text).
God, I can’t believe spring break is so close! I’ll have so much time off! And I only have a 12 page take home mid-term, a 25 source bibliography, and research for that 20 page paper to work on. How EVER will I keep myself busy? Good thing Sebastian has daycare. I think I can still take him in, I’ll just spend my normal class times working on all this crap at some cushy coffee place like Atlanta Bread Co. or Borders. That’ll be awesome now that I have a laptop.
I’m eating yucky disgusting ALDI’s chicken nuggets as I type this, and wishing I was one of those rich people who could snack on cold salmon or black caviar. *sigh*
Yeah… Bush is looking more and more like the antichrist every day. It’s funny, I was present for a conversation that a psychic friend of mine was having right around the time Dubya was elected and she was vehemently proclaiming him the anti-christ. I thought that was ridiculous and she was just saying it because she was a liberal.
Wow… it was only that long ago that I was… one of them
Posted in 1 | Tagged: beliefs, bush, dad, decisions, liberal, politics, society, voting, war | 1 Comment »
Posted by Mary Diamond on 01/25/2004
I was just noticing how that last entry, if I didn’t know it was me, could have been written by a high-school student. Well, a neurotic high school student. Whatever.
It’s not that far from New Years -I could start a belated resolution. I haven’t exercised yet (scheduled to meet the girls tonight for belly-dance) but I think this is something that will prove significantly more beneficial. Watching dating shows and hearing these women talk about how the only way to get over their ex is to find a REALLY great guy… I don’t want to be dependent on a partner for my happiness. I sort of am, though, and that sucks. Not having a partner is making me so unhappy -but I honestly haven’t got the time to look for one. Honestly, I don’t think I have the skills either. I have no experience finding people, but I can interact well once I’m put on the spot.
So I’m really thinking that the idea of a year long “cleansing” period has more perks than I realized. One change though -I need a year of being entirely unavailable. Not just “no sex”… I mean not looking for a partner for one whole year. I’ve been watching reality dating shows all afternoon (god, I hate this trend -but it’s made me realize dating still exists) and I’m on my second showing of “16 Candles” with Molly Ringwald.
Just another manic Sunday…
Posted in 1 | Tagged: beliefs, break-ups, decisions, destiny, Life | Leave a Comment »
Posted by Mary Diamond on 01/12/2004
The first day back at classes was fun. I’m really going to enjoy my studies this semester, and I think I may be able to keep up this time!
I’m feeling rather content with my decisions as of late, and just in general. I always feel so much beter when I’m getting things done. I’m finishing up those last two loads of laundry right now, and Dad did the majority of the dishes today.
If I could just finish up the cleaning around here, and keep it clean from then on, I’d be a much happier girl.
My thoughts are jumping around alot tonight -thinking about past attractions, present comforts, and future successes. I’ve been wondering why hasn’t called lately. Perhaps I should go for a drive soon to corn-town. I can always get more info on housing and such while I’m there.
Well, I’m off to spend more time with Sebastian and finish more laundry.
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Posted by Mary Diamond on 01/07/2004
Posted in 1 | Tagged: angry, baby-daddy, decisions, ex-boyfriends, fight, rant | Enter your password to view comments
Posted by Mary Diamond on 01/07/2004
Okay,
So this is partly a response to Adam, and partly a post.
Whoa! There is no (zero, none) possibility of “fuckbuddies” happening with Andy. We have other people to consider. His family has accepted me, for the most part, and I love all of them. So I wouldn’t even begin to want something like that from him, because it would inevitably turn into drama and I’d end up a pariah. That would suck.
We’ve discussed the whole “attraction” thing and dismissed the idea of doing anything about it. Right now we both have our reasons for not going forward. I dunno, but I’ve been called defensive twice now tonight (by you and by Andy) so I guess I’ll just accept your comment. Yes, I do have a tendency to want one thing and end up asking for another. I suppose that is a habit I’ll have to work on.
I really think I’ve come a long way this past year, (no I’m not being arrogant, I was a mess before) and I’m still moving forward. I may not be unlocking the secrets of enlightenment, but I’m certainly trying to embrace the lessons life is sending me about “know thyself” and being responsible for my own happiness. I don’t want to be a co-dependent searching for a shoulder to cling to. I don’t want to be a sex addict fucking my way through horrible relationships. I just want to be happy, and if I could have someone to share that happiness with -so much the better.
Until then, I’m going to enjoy Sebastian’s progress, work hard, and chill the fuck out. I need to support us both because no one’s going to do it for me.
Don’t worry, Adam, things will work out for me and Bastian. We’ll be living down the street from you in no time (when I’m rich) and having dinner and drinks like real grown-ups. =)
(I’ll check the story blog tomorrow, I’m pooped)
Posted in 1 | Tagged: choices, decisions, revelations | 1 Comment »
Posted by Mary Diamond on 01/05/2004
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